Book Reviews

When Things Fall Apart
Pema Chodron

Chodron’s book is written in a direct, earthy and engaging style. While a Buddhist nun the reader does not need a background in this religion or even to agree with some of their beliefs. This book is about courage in the face of adversity and loss. So often we attempt to cope with fear through efforts to quiet ourselves by reassurance, distraction or avoidance. We run from our fears out of the mistaken belief that they are bigger and more powerful than we are and we will be easily overwhelmed. Chodron leads us in the opposite direction: into our fear, to lean into that which we fear. She once had a sign over her door at the abbey which read: “Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.” Chodron suggests that through meditation practice, we stay with our anxieties, hurts, betrayals, feelings of revenge, and in the midst of chaos we learn not to panic.

Chodron is a strong believer in, and writes well about, developing “maitre” or loving-kindness: to practice gentleness and letting go. Instead of struggling against confusion or engaging in a rigorous regime of self improvement she suggests we relax, nurture, accept and meet our troubling experiences with curiosity.

For those interested in developing mindfulness or learning about meditation her instructions are simple, inviting and written with a light touch. This is a book I return to again and again for the gentle strength contained in these pages.